But That’s MY House!!!

It feels like the end of an era and it’s time for me to let go.

But part of me, and a very big part, doesn’t want to.

My Dad’s house, the family house, my home, is up for sale.

Albiet I don’t live there anymore and haven’t for a few years now, but it is the house I grew up in and the house I will always call my home.

When my parents separated I stayed living there with my Dad, whilst my Mum moved out, and lived there until I went to University.

When my Dad passed away two years ago now, it was a joint decision between me, my Mum, my sisters and brother, that we would not sell the house, but rent it out instead. I think it was hard enough to clear out the house of all our childhood memories, as everything was still the same, that selling the property too would have been just too much. We had already said goodbye to enough.

Renting worked for us because the house has two annexes out the back and we rented these too. The extra money helped to put me and my sister through University.

Over the passed year there has been lots of drama with renting out the annexes and because of one reason or another, it has become nearly impossible for it to be simple. Recently the tenants handed in their notice from the main house too, and to go through all the trouble of sorting out the annexes plus new tenants in the house would be too much hassle.

So it’s time to sell.

But I don’t want to!!

I thought about living there myself and as much as I want to and would absolutely love the extra space, it wouldn’t be fair on D. I would want everything to be how me and my Dad had it. The pasta in that cupboard. The sofa along that wall. The rug in the lounge. The pictures on the wall. This colour theme. Them curtains. And that way only.

And that is not fair to him, nor do I think he could live like that, and it wouldn’t be healthy for us either.

I think I would want it all the same way because then it’s like my house is still my home. If I live there, with everything as it was, then it’s like living with my Dad again. And I guess that’s all I want – to be able to walk through that front door and see him.

But I know arranging furniture won’t bring him back.

When I really think about it, I guess having tenants renting the house is worse than actually selling it because then I have to see my house decorated in a different way. If it is sold at least another family can start their journey there.

It is a beautiful and happy house, and I hope somebody else can really enjoy it.

I will always have my memories and I should’t try to relive them.

It’s really sad to see it go, and as much as I don’t want it to, I think deep down it may be for the best.

Goodbye home. Thank you for providing a safe and secure place for me to grow up in. You filled my childhood with happiness.

My home is with D and Molly now, and we are starting our very own little family and adventure.