Can I Take You On A Date?
The day before yesterday me and D had a MASSIVE argument. So big in fact that he ended up staying at his Dads for the night!
Throughout our relationship we have had a number of discussions talking about the fact that we are not particularly close with one another. And on Friday it all came out in one huge argument. It wasn’t just about this though, we were both stressing about money and had different opinions on what the best plan of action is. It was over things like what sort of job to look for and what to do until a job becomes available.
But you know what its like when your in the heat of argument, absolutely every little thing that has bothered you.. ever.. comes out!
It was probably the biggest argument we have ever had and because part of it was about things we had already argued about, both of us were just so mad!
And he ended up going to his Dads. It was something we both thought was for the best as we did not want to continue arguing because it wouldn’t get us anywhere and plus it wasn’t fair on Molly. I am really against arguing around children and it doesn’t feel like your getting your angry point across if you have to say everything in a cheery tone!
We didn’t talk for the rest of the night and I just spent some time watching tv with Molly and she seemed completely unaware that anything was different. I spent all night thinking of how our relationship had built up to this point.
The next day he came back home to talk. We both missed each other and one night apart was enough!
I had realised that the reason I am not really close to him is because I don’t really feel like I know as well as I want to. At the start of our relationship I fell pregnant and then we quickly had to move house, only giving us a few months having a ‘normal’ start to the relationship before everything became extremely hectic. Soon after that my pregnancy hormones kicked in and D always says I was crazy back then! The last four months of my pregnancy I had to spend 100 miles away to attend University, then Molly was born and a new kind of hectic began. And that leads us to where we are now.
We have never had any time for just us. Generally most couples have months, even years together, getting to know one another and bringing them close. But we didn’t.
So now its time for change. It is going to be hard to find time to do stuff just the two of us but I really think we need it to move past this. I do love him and really want this to work, but we don’t just want our relationship to be good like it is now, we want it to be great! Obviously we are close and I don’t mean to make it sound like we are not at all, I think its more that we are not as close as we think we should be or would want to be.
We have decided that at least once a week we will find a babysitter and go on a ‘date’ to spend some proper quality time together. I suggested that he plans it one week and I will plan what we do the next.
We also think that the reason that we are so angry at each other is now we spend every second of every day together and its just too much! I don’t know many people that could be with their partner 24/7. Not in a horrible way, but every one needs there own space. So in the day he is going to be focusing on his work and I will be looking after Molly and doing more activities with her. Then we will have our evenings together, and he pointed out that I am married to my phone so in the evenings so I have to learn not to check Facebook a million times a night! And we will also have our weekends to do family things and take Molly on days out. We also think its really important we both go out and see our friends more. Being so busy with Molly and University we both have hardly seen them and that frustrates us too.
Hopefully filling our time better and then using the time we actually spend together properly and making it quality time, should mean things improve quickly.
We love each other and want to remain a family.
But what relationship is without its work!!
I am excited to go on a date!