Co-Parenting at it’s Finest
Me and Molly’s Dad, D, split when she was just six months old. Since then it has been more than a rocky journey, where in the beginning it was co-parenting at it’s worst! All we did was argue and Molly was stuck in the middle. As a result from all this and the resentment held between me and D, Molly missed out and didn’t get to see D as much as she should of.
After all the arguing we came up with a plan and knew we had to stick to it no matter what. It was arranged that D was to have Molly every Tuesday evening from when he finished work until Molly’s bed time and also have her to sleep at his one night at the weekend and keep her for half the following day too – each weekend we take it in turns to decide on which night she goes to his, so if there are any events/friends birthdays we can normally still attend them too.
When we first set this plan up I was slightly dubious as to how well it would work or how long it would last but we have really done it and months later the plan is still going strong. Molly now gets quality time with her Dad and I can definitely see how this has had a positive affect on her. She is excited when we arrive at his door and no longer is upset when she stays over. From my point of view it is nice to have an evening to myself but after a couple hours of her leaving I really start to feel sad and miss her so much I feel like I am clock watching until I get her home. I always try and keep busy when Molly is with D even if this is by doing chores, going to the gym or seeing friends as I find myself completely bored without her around nowadays, even when she goes to bed early I am completely lost!
I am so happy that me and D have worked out our co-parenting relationship for Molly’s sake. We no longer argue and have learnt how to actually communicate maturely. We talk through anything that needs to be discussed so we both know what Molly’s routine is or what precautions we need to take for the stages of Molly’s life which are coming up. Our handovers are normally brief but very civil and this makes the adjustment for Molly so much easier.
I never thought it would be so hard to set up an arrangement which we were both happy with, with Molly’s needs coming first, but I guess when there are emotions flying around it is never easy, but I can honestly say I think we have done it and the main thing is that Molly sees her Dad too, and we show her what a healthy relationship is.
I hope we continue to co-parent as well as we are doing and can continue to always be at least this civil towards each other so Molly always feels at ease. It would be my worst nightmare for Molly to ever feel as though she was stuck in the middle or for us to argue around her.
But right now we are doing good: Co-parenting at its finest – Mastered!