I want to walk like you, talk like you, be like you

‘I want to walk like you, talk like you, be like you!’ Does anybody else say that sentence through song?!

Last night Molly broke my heart. Darn is she good at that! 

I have recently started writing even more lists with even more details. I got fed up of wasting our evenings from when I come home from work to when Molly didn’t go to bed, and wanted to fit in more things that were interesting. I still find it really hard to be working away from her for three days in a row and our evening time didn’t seem to have enough quality. This was a huge thing for me and was really playing on my mind. Now I have a list of activities and every night we have an hour to play one. I have cracked down on dinner times and chore time to ensure we really get our full hours worth of play. An hour may not seem much, but sadly our time is so limited during the first half of the week so I will be pleased to fit in this quality time along with a good cooked meal, chores and the bedtime routine, before I settle down to an hour to myself (i.e. more chores!).

Last night we started our hour of fun with crafts. I am still not a crafty bean but I try my best to think of ideas that are simple enough for me and Molly to do. I decided we could make masks. I drew out animal heads onto white card, cut them out and stuck straws to the back of them so they could be held. Obviously I cut out eye holes so Molly could play with them. Due to my drawing ability we only had a cat, a fish and a rabbit (the animals we own!) but nether-the-less Molly enjoyed colouring them in and sticking stickers all over them. We held them up to our faces and got in to character, with sound effects and actions too.

My food shop delivery was running late so I decided to carry on the fun a little longer whilst we waited. As all the crafts were packed away by this point, we got out ‘baby’. This ‘baby’ was one of my very first dolls that I fell in love with – Baby Annabell, which I am sure many of you can remember from your own childhood. I know the make is still going and I cannot wait to start buying some more accessories. My Baby Annabell still had on her original sleep suit with her bottle and sheep rattle.

Molly took to her straight away. It was so joyful to watch Molly play with one of my beloved toys. When I turned Baby Annabell on and she started to cry (she cries, burps, sucks, and sleeps), Molly turned into a little Mummy. She has never acted like this towards a doll before, normally just throwing them around, but yesterday she shined.

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Immediately she grabbed the dolly and starting hugging her tightly, hushing away. She ran to her favourite blanket and Peppa Pig teddies and handed them straight to the baby to try and soothe her. It made me think that she really must realise that I try and help her as quickly as possible with whatever I can when she is sad herself. Heart started breaking.

Then out came the pretend jar of baby food and spoon. Molly sat Baby Annabell up and started offering her food, bending down to ask if she wanted ‘more?’! After a few spoonfuls, Molly went straight to baby’s eye level and said ‘Good girl’. I was in stitches! I never thought my simple actions would be embedded so much into Molly. I was so proud of the way she was trying to help this little crying dolly!

What made the whole thing even more special was the fact that we were using a very special baby cot – it was one my Great Auntie had given me as a child. My Auntie had made a pillow and duvet to go with it and I still have the whole bedding set. I used to sleep with the cot right next to my bed and one night I remember leaving Baby Annabell turned on to see what being a real Mummy felt like. However I distinctively remember Baby Annabell waking up in the night and crying and me just turing her off so I could sleep!! You really can’t do that in real life!

Molly loved the cot and it was so special to me. She put her baby to bed and said good night. It was a moment I wished my Auntie could have been there for.

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My heart literally ached that night. I know Molly has my attitude personality but she is picking up so much more from me than I ever thought I would notice, especially this early on.

I aspire to be just like my Mum. I think she is a better mother than me and she can just handle anything. She gives me something to strive towards and causes me to be a better person because of this. I look at Molly now and wonder if she sees me like that. It was only something small – playing with a doll – but I think that moment could have changed me as a mother forever.

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